I was once a very social little girl, I could make friends everywhere I went and I was never scared to say what I felt. Then slowly over the years I began hiding who I was more and more. First it was to make some of my family accept me, but after we left all of them behind it became more then that.
I was eleven when I couldn't find anything that I enjoyed. Sure most would say I was becoming a teenager and that its normal to hate the world. During that time I couldn't tell my mother what I wanted to eat because inside I refused to enjoy anything. I was under the mentality that everything I cared for would in the end hurt me. So I just stopped caring, about everything.
It took three years and moving away from my home town to even remotely start feeling again. I went to a new middle school and found a few new friends.
By my first year of high-school I was going good, then I let a male hurt my feelings again.
Though threw it all I still read and wrote, that kept me happy even if i never wanted to let anyone know that I felt the happiness.
I met my half-sister when I was 14 and that was one of the best times of my life I finally had an older sister but even that in time became something for me to resent even as i tried not to.
Now she is a mother and I'm happy for her even though it meant she wasn't going to be coming back up here to live. I love her, her son, and the man she chooses to be with very much.
So even though I can be seen as jaded, and wistful. Inside I'm a kind soul that is romantic at heart.
No comments:
Post a Comment